so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
