It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
