he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
