but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
