I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
