I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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