No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
