i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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