i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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