Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
