that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
