So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
