I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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