He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
