it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize