Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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