I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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