he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
