I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
