He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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