I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
