Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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