do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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