Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
