Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
