This is not my ceiling
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
