he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
