I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
