Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
be right there i have to get my cape
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
