the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my being single is dangerous.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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