After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Found your dick twin last night
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
