Will you blow on my dice?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
