just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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