in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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