he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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