There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
