I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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