whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
