I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
