Need sex. Gaining weight.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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