I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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