I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
