don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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