I puked a lego.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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