Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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