just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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