Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize