you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
