hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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