It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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