batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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