A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
