do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
