I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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