would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
