8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
